I spoke to Heather Wright recently, on her mum’s 93rd birthday, a short while after her dad had celebrated his 94th birthday. Heather’s mum has no mobility now and her dad is living with Alzheimer’s disease, so the 'home team' these days has expanded to include carers and a local day centre. Heather’s parents lived in Oxford until 18 months ago, when she moved them, lock, stock and barrel, to a bungalow round the corner from her in Ellesmere. At this stage of life, presence is so important.
Heather has written our Diocese of Lichfield prayer this year for Dementia Action Week which runs from 18-25 May 2025. Her prayer begins, “I am what I am”. Heather recognises that this is a prayer not just for her dad but for all of us: please accept me where I am, love me for who I am. This is the place to meet me.
Her prayer contines with thankfulness. Heather recently thanked the receptionist at the local doctor’s surgery, saying that she really appreciates being able to come in to the surgery on her parents’ behalf. She’s also thankful for St Mary’s Church, Ellesmere and the support of a dementia-friendly church, with their Dementia Coordinator Jeremy Stretton. “Jeremy’s lovely.”, says Heather, “He’s been able to share one or two ideas to help my dad. I know I’ve got support from church.”
Heather’s prayer reflects her deep awareness of God’s presence. “I’ve always felt a deep love for the Lord. Even when I was little, I took myself off on my bike, with the mile-long cycle ride to church and Sunday School.” As a teenager, Heather knew that she wanted to work with handicapped children and young people: “It was my calling”. So she has a lifetime’s experience of meeting people where they are and appreciating them for who they are.
However hard it is, Heather recognises that she is seeing the best side in her parents. The other day, her dad held out his hands and said, “Look at those”. When Heather asked if was his hands her dad was looking at, he replied, “Yes. How long have I had them?” “94 years, dad”, she answered. And her dad responded, “That’s alright then”. Heather came away smiling from that exchange with her dad: what a mix of delight and connection, reassurance and acceptance in that snippet of conversation. These are the things Heather hangs on to and cherishes.
She naturally sees the light in every encounter. Heather says, “When you are living with it, my words would be, ‘Enjoy every minute of them, with what you’ve got’”.
So Heather’s prayer, for people affected by dementia and for all of us, affirms the light and life, recognising God presence at the heart of life, drawing deeply on her own experience of life and work and faith. No wonder it resonates deeply, affirming God’s abiding presence, through the whole of life, including through dementia. The prayer expresses the network of love which continues to connect Heather, her parents, their family and friends and carers. And it finishes with confident words of reassurance, knowing that God will remain by our side, holding us by the hand, on the journey forwards.
Heather’s prayer, drawing on her own lived experience and her own deep faith, invites us all to live fully into our own experience, deepening our faith as we do so. Her prayer takes me to these words from the Bible, which go the heart of love (1 John 4: 7,16):
“Beloved, let us love one another, because love is from God; everyone who loves is born of God and knows God… God is love, and those who abide in love abide in God, and God abides in them.”
- Heather has written our Diocese of Lichfield prayer this year for Dementia Action Week, which runs from 19-25 May 2025.
You can order our Diocese of Lichfield “Book of Prayers” through dementia here: this booklet includes Heather’s prayer. - St Mary’s Church Ellesmere is active in naming and facing dementia, raising awareness and journeying with people through dementia at church and across the town. St Mary’s, as one of more than 100 churches within our Diocese of Lichfield dementia-friendly churches network, recently renewed its “Dementia-Friendly Churches Certificate” for the sixth time.
- There’s more about our Diocese of Lichfield dementia-friendly churches network, with shared resources and experiences, here.
Sarah Thorpe, Dementia-Friendly Church Enabler, Diocese of Lichfield can be contacted by email or phone 0798 224 8949.