Hark the Herald
(best sung by two people alternating lines, then join together for the last one)
- Hark the herald angels sing, Listen how the shop bells ring!
- Peace on earth and mercy mild Santa's grotto's running wild.
- Joyful, all ye nations rise, We can't eat any more mince pies
- With the angelic host proclaim Somehow, Christmas ain't the same.
- Hark the herald angels sing, What will Father Christmas bring?
- Christ, by highest heaven adored By Boxing Day we'll all be bored,
- Late in time behold Him come Too much turkey, bloated tum,
- Veiled in flesh the Godhead see, Dinner's over, what's for tea?
- Pleased as man with man to dwell, No cards again from Auntie Nell,
- Hark! The herald angels sing, It's the time of year to have a fling.
- Hail, the heaven-born Prince of Peace, Will the cost next year increase?
- Light and life to all He brings For three months, we've spent like kings.
- Mild, He lays His glory by, With all this booze we'll soon get high,
- Born to raise the sons of earth, How much are crackers really worth?
- Hark! The herald angels sing, Who's this bloke they call the king?
Baptism Baubles
Several years ago Bishop Geoff (then of Stafford) visited a church in Stafford which was holding a Christmas tree festival, one tree in particular though captured his attention, it was a dressed with glass baubles each one bearing the name of a child who had been baptised that year in the church- it is an encouragement to the church of the number of baptisms, but also the families are invited to come and see their childs bauble on the tree and attend a special thanksgiving service.
Genie-us
Man on beach and found bottle. Genie. 3 wishes. New computer goes home there it is! Rubs it again. (better get something the wife will like) Dream holiday gives wife tickets and shes suspicious. Tries to say he won it but she asks and asks and in the end he tells her. Glowers. Wasted two wishes. Give it here! Rubs it. Genie appears and complains then she complains about her useless husband. Genie gives in (despair) Thinks. At last! I want a house fit for God to live in! Whooosh! Flash! Finds herself in a dark, smelly stable surrounded by animals. God with us. Emmanuel.